How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin
Descripción del Episodio
Sam Lessin is a partner at Slow Ventures, a former VP of Product at Facebook, and a two-time founder who’s now teaching etiquette to Silicon Valley’s founders. In this unconventional episode, Sam explains why proper etiquette has become a vital skill for founders in 2026—especially as technology becomes more central to society and trust becomes harder to build. His etiquette book and courses have become surprisingly popular, teaching founders how to “show up in a room with a low heart rate” and quickly build trust.
We discuss:
1. Why etiquette matters
2. Sam’s framework for showing up confidently, with a low heart rate, in any room
3. How to navigate introductions, small talk, meetings, and meals like a pro
4. Simple hacks for remembering names and handling awkward social situations
5. 30+ specific etiquette tips
—
Brought to you by:
10Web—Vibe-coding platform as an API
DX—The developer intelligence platform designed by leading researchers
WorkOS—Modern identity platform for B2B SaaS, free up to 1 million MAUs
—
Episode transcript: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/silicon-valleys-missing-etiquette-playbook
—
Archive of all Lenny's Podcast transcripts:
—
Where to find Sam Lessin:
• X: https://x.com/lessin
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wlessin
• Website: https://www.wlessin.com
• Podcast: https://moreorlesspod.com
• Lettermeme: https://lettermeme.com/lessin
—
Where to find Lenny:
• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com
• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/
—
In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Sam’s background
(04:18) The role of etiquette in business success
(09:30) Introductions and entering a room
(16:20) Engaging conversations and building relationships
(23:55) Hygiene and dress code essentials
(33:42) Dining etiquette
(37:15) Tipping etiquette
(41:36) The “B&D trick”
(43:05) Humor in social settings
(45:18) Self-deprecating humor
(47:42) Winding down conversations
(49:20) Scheduling etiquette
(55:23) Communication and email etiquette
(01:02:28) Meeting etiquette tips
(01:04:03) Virtual meeting best practices
(01:05:15) The importance of cleaning up after yourself
(01:05:58) Exiting and follow-up etiquette
(01:07:24) Final thoughts
(01:09:20) AI corner
(01:11:13) Contrarian corner
(01:16:25) Lightning round
—
Referenced:
• Y Combinator: https://www.ycombinator.com
• Kleiner Perkins: https://www.kleinerperkins.com
• “Lose Yourself” by Eminem on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7MJQ9Nfxzh8LPZ9e9u68Fq
• Alison Gopnik on Childhood Learning, AI as a Cultural Technology, and Rethinking Nature vs. Nurture: https://conversationswithtyler.com/episodes/alison-gopnik
• Garry Tan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garrytan
• Bain & Company: https://www.bain.com
• Evernote: https://evernote.com
• Calendly: https://calendly.com
• Morning Brew: https://www.morningbrew.com
• Cursor: https://cursor.com
• The rise of Cursor: The $300M ARR AI tool that engineers can’t stop using | Michael Truell (co-founder and CEO): https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/the-rise-of-cursor-michael-truell
• DigitalOcean: https://www.digitalocean.com
• Cloudflare: https://www.cloudflare.com
• SpaceX: https://www.spacex.com
• Marc Andreessen on X: https://x.com/pmarca
• Landman on Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Landman-Season-1/dp/B0D4D8RTMD
• Dave Morin on X: https://x.com/davemorin
—
Recommended books:
• Modern Etiquette in Technology, Finance, Society, and at Home: A Slow Ventures Handbook: https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Etiquette-Technology-Finance-Society-ebook/dp/B0G4HSKSY5
• Life, the Universe and Everything: https://www.amazon.com/Universe-Everything-Hitchhikers-Guide-Galaxy-ebook/dp/B001ODEQ7A
• The Ancient City: A Study on the Religion, Laws, and Institutions of Greece and Rome: https://www.amazon.com/Ancient-City-Religion-Institutions-Greece/dp/0801823048
• Man’s Search for Meaning: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl-ebook/dp/B009U9S6FI
• Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base: https://www.amazon.com/Area-51-Uncensored-Americas-Military-ebook/dp/B004THU68Q
• The Lessons of History: https://www.amazon.com/Lessons-History-Will-Durant/dp/143914995X
• The Fish That Ate the Whale: The Life and Times of America’s Banana King: https://www.amazon.com/Fish-That-Ate-Whale-Americas/dp/1250033314
• The Last Kings of Shanghai: The Rival Jewish Dynasties That Helped Create Modern China: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Kings-Shanghai-Jewish-Dynasties/dp/0735224439
—
Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email [email protected].
—
Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.
To hear more, visit www.lennysnewsletter.com
Episodios Recientes
Más podcasts de Sociedad y Cultura
Ver toda la categoría →
What Happened to the McStays?
By shows
In a quiet suburb of San Diego County, a family of four seemingly vanishes into thin air. When investigators search their home, they find the family’s two beloved dogs unattended outside, rotting food left around the house and clothes strewn across the floor. Did the McStays leave of their own accord, or did something far more sinister happen? A six-part series from 20/20 and ABC Audio, hosted by Ashan Singh. New episodes Tuesdays. Subscribe to 20/20 True Crime+ for ad-free listening, early access to new series, exclusive bonus content, and hundreds of episodes from the 20/20 true crime vault. Visit apple.co/2020truecrime to subscribe now. Terms apply.
Un Libro Una Hora
By shows
Aprende a leer, aprende de literatura escuchando. Un programa para contar un libro en una hora. Grandes clásicos de la literatura que te entran por el oído. Dirigido por Antonio Martínez Asensio, crítico literario, productor, escritor y guionista. En directo los domingos a las 05:00 y a cualquier hora si te suscribes. En Podimo, ¿Y ahora qué leo? nuestro spin off con los imprescindibles de la temporada https://go.podimo.com/es/ahoraqueleo
Creepy en Español
By shows
<p>Un universo de cuentos de terror y suspenso en cada episodio. Casas abandonadas, objetos malditos, seres de ultratumba y secretos que te costarán la vida. </p><br><p>Creado por: Jon Grilz </p><p>Producido por: Guillermo Ruiz de Santiago </p><p>Voces de: Edgar Cañas, Ginette Zavala y Fernando Hernández </p><br><p>Historias bajo licencias de bienes comunes creativos y permiso explícito de autor. Ningún extracto debe retransmitirse o distribuirse sin el consentimiento de Creepy en Español. Advertencia: este podcast puede contener descripciones gráficas de violencia.</p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
Modern Wisdom
By shows
Life is hard. This podcast will help. Lessons from the greatest thinkers on the planet with Chris Williamson. Including guests like David Goggins, Dr Jordan Peterson, Naval Ravikant, Sam Harris, Jocko Willink, Dr Andrew Huberman, Dr Julie Smith, Steven Bartlett, Ryan Holiday, Robert Greene, Matthew McConaughey, Alain de Botton, Alex Hormozi, Tony Robbins, Chris Bumstead, Mark Manson and more.
Te vas a morir
By shows
Podcast sin filtros para cuestionarnos todo, filosofar, divertirnos y recordar que… ¡Te vas a morir!
Nadie Sabe Nada
By shows
Andreu Buenafuente y Berto Romero se sientan frente a frente, micro a micro, e improvisan. ¿Qué puede salir mal? El humor de estos dos genios es oro para tus orejas. Ábrelas bien que, en el fondo, nadie sabe nada. En directo en Cadena Ser los sábados a las 12:00 y a cualquier hora si te suscribes.
El Podcast de Nico Orellana
By shows
Quiero hablar de emprendeder desde la individualidad, creatividad y lo que nos gusta hacer.
Las Noches de Ortega
By shows
El humor absurdo más inteligente. Juan Carlos Ortega y el podcast más insólito de las noches de la radio. Humor genial que mueve y conmueve. Hecho por uno, pero ejecutado por muchos. De todas las edades, además.?En directo en Cadena Ser los viernes a la 01:30 y a cualquier hora si te suscribes.