484: The Real Reasons Successful Women Struggle with Intimacy with Sex Therapists Vanessa & Xander
Descripción del Episodio
For so many high-achieving women, intimacy becomes the one area of life that feels stuck, overwhelming, or even like another thing on the to-do list. In this episode, we’re diving into why with licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin (featured in The New York Times, Oprah, and more) and her husband and co-host Xander Marin.
Together, they break down the hidden pressures, perfectionism, and cultural myths that block successful women from experiencing the intimacy they actually want. From navigating the mental load and shifting gender roles to rebuilding desire after dry spells or postpartum, this conversation is equal parts practical and refreshing.
Vanessa and Xander share simple tools you can start using right away, like transition rituals, the “Get Intimate” method, and reframing foreplay - so intimacy feels less like work and more like connection. Whether you’re in a season of burnout, carrying the breadwinner role, or just craving more closeness, this episode will help you feel seen and give you realistic steps to reignite your relationship.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - Why successful women struggle with intimacy more than you think
02:45 - The hidden role of perfectionism and pressure in the bedroom
06:30 - Transition rituals that shift you out of “go mode” into connection
11:55 - How changing gender roles and breadwinner dynamics impact intimacy
19:40 - Mental load, resentment, and why it kills desire
28:15 - The “Get Intimate” method: gratitude, eye contact, and touch
33:50 - Why desire is overrated + what to focus on instead
38:35 - Rethinking foreplay: starting long before the bedroom
49:10 - Breaking dry spells and postpartum “sexual inertia”
55:25 - Is there a ‘normal’ frequency couples should be having sex?
01:01:10 - Practical tools for better quality, more connected intimacy
RESOURCES + LINKS
Explore Vanessa And Xander’s Membership Deeper → Get 3 Months For Just $97 With This Link.
Join The Société: Build Your Freedom-Based Business™ With Systems, Templates, Coaching + Community. Just $97/Month.
Imagine Having Natalie As Your CMO, On Call 24/7 To Help You Make The Right Moves In Your Business. That’s Exactly What You Get With Bossbabe AI The Freedom Engine™: AI-Powered Strategy And Systems That Show You What To Sell, How To Sell It, And How To Scale - Without All The Guesswork. Learn More And Unlock It Here.
Sign Up For Our Free Weekly Newsletter & Get Insights From Natalie Every Single Week On All Things Strategy, Motherhood, Business Growth + More.
Drop Us A Review On The Podcast + Send Us A Screenshot & We’ll Send You Natalie’s 7-Figure Operating System Completely FREE (value $1,997).
Episodios Recientes
Más podcasts de Sociedad y Cultura
Ver toda la categoría →
We Fixed It, You're Welcome
By shows
Armchair quarterbacking isn’t just for sports anymore. We’re taking the same approach to companies: what would you do in their shoes? Each episode, our lively panel will debate a new issue ripped from the headlines involving a different well-known company. Between our instincts, experiences, and unsolicited opinions, we may just come up with gold. At the end, we’ll critique ourselves and see how we did. If we fixed it, you’re welcome! Season 3 launched January 20, 2026. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss a single episode!
Notes from the Edge
By shows
Notes From the Edge is where polished stories end and the truth begins. Hosted by writer, trauma educator, executive advisor, and author Lisa Lacy, this globally ranked podcast explores survival, identity, trauma, addiction, recovery, leadership, relationships, and reinvention through raw, deeply human conversations. No scripts. No small talk. Just the stories we were taught to hide, the roles we performed to survive, and the truths that set us free. What did you perform in order to survive? Welcome to the edge. www.lisalacy.com
In The Dark
By shows
In the Dark, hosted by Madeleine Baran, is an award-winning investigative-journalism podcast that started in 2016. Its first season looked at the mysterious abduction of Jacob Wetterling in rural Minnesota and the lack of accountability that sheriffs face when they fail to solve cases. Season 2 examined the case of Curtis Flowers, who was tried six times for the same crime. In 2020, In the Dark released a special report on the coronavirus pandemic in the Mississippi Delta. In 2023, In the Dark joined The New Yorker and in 2024, it released “The Runaway Princesses,” a four-part series that asks why the women in Dubai’s royal family keep trying to run away. Season 3, released in 2024, asked why no one was punished for the killings of twenty-five civilians in Haditha, Iraq. In the Dark won the Pulitzer Prize for audio for Season 3. The podcast is a three-time Peabody Award winner and, in 2019, became the first podcast to win a George Polk Award, one of the top honors in journalism. The program has also received an Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Award and a Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award. New Yorker subscribers get early, ad-free access. In Apple Podcasts, tap the link at the top of the feed to subscribe or link an existing subscription. Or visit newyorker.com/dark to subscribe and listen in the New Yorker app. If you have comments or story tips, please send them to [email protected].
We!
By shows
<p>The #1 U.S. How To podcast for emotional growth, WE is a movement for reconnection—heart to heart, soul to soul. Hosted by Joe Mittiga, WE explores emotional healing, mental health, personal growth, relationships, and spiritual awakening in a world that feels increasingly disconnected. Each episode reveals why you feel the way you do—and the emotional, mental, and spiritual growth that leads to healing, peace, purpose, and deeper human connection. Through honest conversations and real-life experiences, WE helps you better understand yourself, others, and your place in a changing world. Healing doesn't happen alone. It happens when we remember WE. <br><br></p><p>Visit <a href="http://www.wepodcast.global"><b>www.WEPodcast.global</b></a> to learn more<br><br></p><p>Download my books free at <a href="http://www.joemittiga.com"><b>www.JoeMittiga.com</b></a>.<br><br></p><p><b>Voices of WE</b></p><p><em>Healing humanity, one story at a time.</em></p>
The Permanent Questions With David Brooks
By shows
What makes us human? How can I find purpose in life? How can my relationship survive a rough patch? What do I say to a friend who’s suffering? Does any of this mean anything at all? It’s easy to lose sight of fundamental human concerns amid the churn of the news cycle and the demands of every day. Each week on The Permanent Questions, host David Brooks seeks to return them to our attention through thoughtful conversation with the world’s deepest thinkers.
Simulacro
By shows
Marcos Oliveira, uno de los padres de la inteligencia artificial, desaparece de forma misteriosa en Canarias y lo único que saben es que iba buscando una puerta. El escritor Santiago Álvarez recorre la última ruta que hizo el científico para intentar resolver el misterio pero, cuanto más lo busca, más perdido se encuentra en un laberinto entre la realidad y la simulación.<br /><br />Simulacro es un thriller psicológico especulativo creado por <b>Julio Rojas</b> (autor de 'Caso 63') y protagonizado por Isak Férriz, Mónica López y Alberto San Juan.<br /><br />Producido por El Extraordinario para Turismo de Islas Canarias y financiada con fondos Next Generation de la Unión Europea.
Cisne Rojo
By shows
<p>Sara es la principal accionista de Summer-Petersen, una importante compañía de servicios financieros. Es la ejecutiva más agresiva. La que no tiene miedo. Si se trata de negocios, la información es poder y Sara ve lo que otros no ven. Hasta hoy. Este lunes, reaparece en su vida Miranda Celis, una analista de grandes datos y experta en predicciones basadas en algoritmos. A partir de una sola llamada, Miranda conectará recuerdos del pasado con el anuncio de trágicos e irreversibles eventos futuros. Si Sara piensa que todo es estable, que las personas que ama, que la ciudad que habita, y que todo lo que la rodea estará mañana, hoy Sara deberá pensar otra vez.</p><p> </p><p>Protagonizada por Blanca Lewin e Ignacia Baeza. Creada y escrita por Julio Rojas, el creador de Caso 63. Producida por <a href="http://emisorpodcasting.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Emisorpodcasting.com</a></p>
Franco Escamilla Canal Oficial
By shows
¡Bienvenidos al canal oficial de Franco Escamilla! Suscríbete para escuchar un nuevo episodio cada día. Martes: La Mesa Reñoña Miércoles: Los Amos Del Universo Jueves: Toy Aburrido Viernes: Psico y Psico Domingo: Cabareteando Recuerda que no tengo otro canal de audio, no aceptes imitaciones.